We’re always taught, in fact hard wired, to aim for success as children. It starts with walking, then talking, then potty training. And as you get older it becomes exams, dating, further education. And as you get even older the stakes get higher yet, when you add in salary expectations, relationship expectations and on we go.
Since much of this is how we define ‘success’ today, not much is said about the time we spend striving to succeed. And what the physical cost is of not only the striving but also the failing.
Here is what disappointment does to your body:
1. I set expectations which are excitement tinged with fear – adrenaline courses through me.
2. I succeed partially – the fear rises – adrenaline is exhausted and the body now uses cortisol to drive onwards. We pop in and out of fear & flight/rest & respite.
3. I succeed/fail more – the body doesn’t know the difference – more cortisol needed and now the body stays in fear & flight. Rest & respite is long gone as a body setting.
4. Levels of acidity in body rise, hormones become imbalanced, gut starts malfunctioning. Results – bloating, lack of sleep, indigestion.
5. Inflammation sets in. Results – the body is fragile and susceptible to illness.
In my day job I see this happen again and again.
Today I heard someone say that 1 out of 2 of us would get cancer in our lifetime. I guarantee this is based on the above journey.
So what is the solution?
Do we give up working? Do we give up striving? What are we meant to do?
The only solution is to find a way to reset your expectations to ones that work for you as a person. So no external measures of success are allowed, only internal ones.
What do I mean? Work out the things that make you unhappy and systematically work to eradicate and diffuse them – one by one.
That will change your expectations.
That will change your body.
Any problems, give me a call, I’d be delighted to help.